


listen to me

by kon_anima



Category: BoJack Horseman
Genre: Bojack’s Childhood, Canonical Child Abuse, Child!Bojack, Dialogue-Only, Explicit Language, Gen, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, The F-Bomb Rule, butterscotch’s ramblings break my heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-13
Updated: 2020-02-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:42:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22691212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kon_anima/pseuds/kon_anima
Summary: “Bojack. You listen to me, alright? You listen to me because I’m your father and you need to hear this. I know goddamn well you aren’t sleeping so you better listen. Your mother never listens. Wait— No. I’m gonna tell you something important. So just listen, okay?”Heavily inspired by another fic.
Relationships: BoJack Horseman & Butterscotch Horseman
Comments: 3
Kudos: 81





	listen to me

**Author's Note:**

> The F-Bomb Rule:
> 
> In Bojack Horseman, characters only use the word “Fuck” in intense or meaningful moments. For instance, when Todd snapped on Bojack about doing shitty things and feeling bad about them like that makes them okay — “Fuck, man, what else is there to say?”

“Bojack. You listen to me, alright? You listen to me because I’m your father and you need to hear this. I know goddamn well you aren’t sleeping so you better listen. Your mother never listens. Wait— No. I’m gonna tell you something important. So just listen, okay?”

“I wrote something. For you. I know you’re gonna say, _‘You never actually write’_ like your bitch of a mother— Don’t you _ever_ repeat that, you hear me? If I hear you repeat that, I’ll smack you halfway to China. You respect your mother, no matter what, she’s your mother. China’s on the other side of the world, Bojack, you should know that. Don’t be stupid. My son isn’t stupid and he never will be. Alright, so I wrote something, and it’s for you. I had you in mind when writing it, so it’s for you. I wrote it in my notebook. You better never touch that, understand? I wrote it in there. The ink was shit but I can still read it so I’m sure you can, too. You’re not stupid, alright? You better not be stupid. Your mother comes from money so she’s allowed to be stupid— I swear to _God_ , Bojack, if you ever repeat that—“

“Just, quiet. I need quiet. Keep listening, I’m not done. It’s not short. It’s long. It’s like— Like you and me. You’re short, I’m long, got that? Of course you do. It’s three pages. I wasted three goddamn pages on you. You’re not a waste. You’re gonna do something. You’re gonna grow up and be somebody, you better be. I didn’t raise a good-for-nothing. Your mother says I didn’t raise you at all. Listen to me, will you? It’s long, it’s three pages, it’s for you, you got that? Good. I didn’t name it. I don’t know what to name it. I didn’t know what to name you. Bojack’s a stupid name. You’re not stupid, your name is stupid. You should name it, maybe. No. You can’t name it. Can you even read? How old are you? Don’t answer that.”

“Look at me, Bojack. Don’t lay on your side, only girls lay on their sides. Girls do that, you’re not a girl, right? Right. You’re my son. Alright, you wanna know what it’s about? Of course you do. It’s about you and— Don’t you dare look at me like that, Bojack, don’t you _dare._ Wipe it off your face before I do. It’s about you. It’s about when I heard your mother was pregnant with you. No, it’s not that. It’s about you, it’s about what you’ll be— **No!** _Stop. Looking. At me. Like that._ Last warning. It’s just about you, okay? I can’t explain it. Not because I’m stupid. Just because I wasn’t born rich like your mother doesn’t mean I’m stupid, Bojack. Do you think I’m stupid? You better not. You respect me, Bojack. Always, I’m your father and you _will_ show me respect. So, yeah, it’s about you. I don’t even really remember all that I wrote. It sort of poured out. But not in a girly emotional way, I’m not a girl, either. You know the birds and the bees? Are you old enough for that? Boys and girls are different. Men are different. I’m a man, and one day you’ll be a man too, and you better make me proud, Bojack. You better. You make your family proud. We’re not proud now. What do you do? Sit around, watch TV, eat? Do you even go to school? How old are you, Bojack? Don’t answer that. We are proud. We are. I shouldn’t have said that. Don’t get all sad, you’re not a girl.”

“You know what your grandpa did to your grandma when she was sad? She was sad and he didn’t like it so he broke her. He broke her, and it’s horrible. Sometimes I think it was for the best. It’s not, though, don’t think that. Do as I say, not as I do. Your mother would be the same way if she married another man. She’s lucky. I’m lucky and you’re lucky, too, your mother is a good person and you’re lucky to have her. It could be so much worse. Even if her cooking is God-awful and she trapped me here with you. No. I’m not trapped. I can leave at anytime. Is that what you want? You want me to leave? I’ll leave, and you’ll have nothing. You’ll be on the streets, I provide for this family. I’m the man. You’ll be the man one day, Bojack, but for now, you’re my son and you’re gonna listen to me.”

“If I leave, Bojack, you’d come with me. I wouldn’t leave you here to be trapped, too. You need me. You need to know what it’s like to be a Horseman. Your mother isn’t one. She is by marriage, but not by blood. You have her blood, and mine and— You know, genetics? What grade are you in? Shut up, I’m talking. You didn’t say anything— Just shut up and listen, for the love of God! Do you believe in God, Bojack? You should. Or maybe you shouldn’t, I don’t know. Do whatever, I don’t care. Do whatever but you better not get arrested or make me look bad, you hear me? I’ll knock your teeth out. Have you lost any teeth yet? Did your mother give you money for it? Bet she did. But you better not get arrested. I won’t bail you out. Own up to your mistakes, Bojack, and face them like a man, even though you aren’t one yet.”

“Why aren’t you asleep, Bojack? You should be asleep. You need sleep. I need sleep. Don’t make me put you to sleep, I’ll do it and you’ll be sorry. And don’t think I’m gonna read you a bedtime story or tuck you in because, you know what? Life isn’t like that. One day you’ll be miserable and alone and old and you’ll fall asleep either way. I’m not gonna coddle you like your mother. You’re gonna be strong. You’re gonna be so strong, Bojack, and I’m gonna be so proud. You better not disappoint me, understand? I’ll never forgive you if you do. It’s about you. I wrote it for you and you better show me I’m right because I don’t like being wrong. Your mother doesn’t, either, that’s why we fight. I know you hear it, Bojack. I love her, I do. I’m lucky. I already said I was, don’t you get it? She can just really piss me off like no one else can. Except you. God, you look just like her, why don’t you look more like me? Like a girl, that’s what you look like. But you have her eyes, Bojack. Don’t let them go dim like hers. That was dumb, don’t listen to that. I hate poetry, I hate it. I think what I wrote about you was poetry and I hate it, Bojack, I hate myself, God, I hate myself so much, Bojack. Your mother hates me, probably— Do you hate me, Bojack? Shut up, _shut up_ , no one asked you. You don’t hate me. You used to hug me when I got home from work. Why don’t you do that anymore, Bojack? Is it because I gave you that shiner? It was your fault, you know that. You know not to go in my office, why did you do that, you idiot? Don’t, no, you aren’t dumb. You’re just a kid. Are you too big now? Of course you are, don’t be a baby. But I miss it, Bojack. I felt like you needed me. You do need me. Ugh, no, _I didn’t—_ “

“You’re a good boy, Bojack. Stay that way. Don’t get into trouble and make me proud, that’s all I’m asking, got it?”

“...Dad?”

“What?”

“Can I... read what you wrote for me?”

“What are you, **out of your mind?!** Of course you can’t read it! Fuck, Bojack, _why don’t you ever listen?!_ ”

**Author's Note:**

> “I never got to read it, Diane. I still don’t know what he wrote about me, all these years later.”


End file.
